( notebook of love )

it's only sugar, really.

Have you ever walked in a dream? As on cotton clouds, jumping bare foot in puddles... drinking violet tea and all of a sudden it's covered in snow.

(but you can't say anyhthing, never ever. you can only speak with your heart and with your tears)

lost in paris, and a blue car

polar nights

1 January 2009

"I have just landed. It is 3:30 in the afternoon. The sun is setting and the cold hits my eyes, glittering tears on my cheeks.
Polar nights were made to dream all day long (polar nights were made to live dreams).
Sailing boats emprisoned in icy rivers, ballerinas dancing on lakes (but the swan cries). Snow flakes and whirpools in the purple sky."

Porvoo, Finland

(i fell in love with a crow)

all there is left is a broken heart
(and a flame)

My heart beats with their songs

Dear diary,

Music was like being swallowed by the Universe, and drums and heart beats, bright lights and glittery dust. It was a lonely night but Cleo was here, so everything was fine, in the end.

i was wearing white lace and the skies were purple, there were flowers in my curly hair. and there she stood in front of me. she appeared from behind the carousel, her dark hair and cherry lips in the middle of the crowd. little beluga lost in a whirpool. i closed my eyes. too scared to open them and not see her anymore. too scared to realize that she was just my mind fooling me once more. i closed my eyes. and drops of rain fell on my cheeks. and her sweet cherry blossom perfume.
oh little crying beluga.
i wont open my eyes.

i know.
i know.
you now lay below my feet.

when i was a little girl,
i stayed a little while with my aunt Violet.
in the very pretty log house
in the mountains, in the woods.
at sunset we would take long walks,
at the top of the hills we would watch the sun say good night
and pick wild berries that would paint our lips.
my best friend then had white dots and skinny legs
long ears and very deep eyes.

and then came the day i had to leave the pretty house
the mountains and the forest
the sunsets and the blackberries
white dots and skinny legs.

starbuck died soon after his little mama left for the city

i believe starbuck never left me
sometimes at night
when everyone shall sleep
and when you shall think i am dreaming
of sailors and treasures
(i am truly in the mountains no longer with a fawn
but with a strong and powerful deer)

Dear diary,
my little head was under white blankets when i heard the door. Mama Rose came in the early morning, she brought me a rose macaron, and silver earings. Papa Bear was there too. And Milk and Hippolyte. We sat in the living room in the evening, and read a story. It was a very sunny day, light shone through my glass of cider, it tickled my tongue. I listened to otis and i wore red lipstick and i danced and i jumped on the bed.